Wasted Food: Lose Weight By Pumping Food Right Out Your Stomach With The AspireAssist™.

The AspireAssist from Aspire BariatricsIt’s the AspireAssist™ weight loss solution and it works by pumping the predigested food out of your stomach which you then replace with self-pumped in water. During a yearlong European trial, 24 patients lost an average of 45 pounds by puking out of their stomachs using the AspireAssist™. The AspireAssist™ was invented by Dean Kamen – the inventor of the Segway.

After reading about the AspireAssist™ and watching the video, I did some thinking and came up with two positive features of the product:

  1. It’s not FDA approved.
  2. With the mainline to your stomach, you can get drunk on some skunky liquor without actually tasting it.

AspireAssist™ – please be another eagle snatches kid or Rayfish Footwear hoax.

In food waste news… according to the IME:

“Due to poor practices in harvesting, storage and transportation, as well as market and consumer wastage, it is estimated that 30–50% (or 1.2–2 billion tonnes) of all food produced never reaches a human stomach.”

Thanks to the AspireAssist™, the IME report may have to change stomach to intestines. [Gizmodo and Mashable]

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Rayfish Footwear’s Custom Stingray Shoes Was A Hoax. SkyMaul Parody Catalog Shouldn’t Be Worried.

Another hoax another day. I guess the Rayfish Footwear stingray shoes were a not-funny SkyMaul catalog item after all. [Buzzfeed]

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