Reason #293 To Hate The Mountain Pine Beetle: They Now Get Lucky Twice As Often As I Do

Mountain pine beetle has Jim Inhofe as its wingmanThe mountain pine beetle, or bark beetle, is a nasty little bugger. Basically, it’ll bore a hole into a pine tree, cut off its circulation of water up and carbs down and eventually kill the tree. Depending on the health of the tree, it can take up to 2000 beetles, but usually less, to bring down a pine whose only defense is pitching them out with resin/sap.

The pine beetle has always been a pain in the ass but now, scientists have discovered that its destructive spread has grown exponentially because they’re getting two mating sessions per summer versus the normal one. How did they work it?

According to Jeffry Mitton from the University of Colorado, the pine beetles did nothing special to double their ability to get bootie… it’s our fault. We warmed up the planet nicely so pine beetles emerge in May instead of August and the pre-maturely parched pine trees are less able to fight them off. Then, after gorging on pine trees, they do what any bug would do and start schtupping. Thanks to the extended summer, pine beetles now get busy and lay their 60 eggs twice each summer leading to an exponential increase in tree chewing larvae and forest destruction. We’re kind of a pest-pimp. The mountain pine beetle is now destroying 10 times as much acreage as they have in any other recorded decade.

You can read more about the management techniques used for controlling the spread of the mountain pine beetles but it sure sucks knowing that we’re helping this bastard of a bug get more tail. I wonder, if in some Men In Black kind of way, one of these horny pests bored a hole into the head of, and is now controlling Jim Inhofe. That’s the only way I could understand why he would write his irresponsible book claiming climate change is a hoax. [NY Times]

[vimeo width=”360″ height=”203″]http://vimeo.com/37083319[/vimeo]

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